Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Cockroach.

THERE WAS A COCKROACH THE SIZE OF MY CELLPHONE CHILLING IN MY BATHROOM LAST NIGHT.

Seriously though, I didn't scream when I first saw it. I just kind of froze and said to it "Holy shit you're huge." (Kylee is now allowed to make a "that's what she said" joke tag line.) I acted swiftly though -- I got a bowler glass and a thick piece of paper, thinking I could trap it. "I'm Liz Parke," I thought to myself, "I can handle a bug even though it's the size of a horse."

Also, I'm Liz Parke who's lived in the clean dome of Lana's abode in the suburbs and the largest insect I've ever had to deal with was the infamous stink-bug-thing in Salem, Virginia. (They are about the size of a quarter. Or a nickle.) As I tried to capture the 'roach, it became very apparent that this bug was from the streets and smoked cigars. It had an attitude and was very, very fast.

I made roommate David kill it for me as I resisted the urge to stand on the toilet.

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