Thursday, July 30, 2009

How to survive a muggy summer day in CT

You don't.

The only way to enjoy a heavy, sticky summer day in CT is to treat it like a snow day - stay inside. Just put on the A/C and lose the sweater in this case. However, it is often very sunny on these muggy days and some will bear the weighted air and lay outside to tan. And if you can't stand feeling horrendously sticky, you can always go to tanning bed, lest you became one shade lighter for staying indoors for a few hours.

I read's article on tanning beds and I feel like it's becoming Fark now. How often have you read about the dangers of tanning salons? How often did you not care? The media, health-oriented people, and reasonable human beings keep telling tanorexics that tanning beds are BAD but they don't seem to realize that teen girls and velour track-suit wearing middle agers DON'T GIVE A CRAP.

I've been among these somewhat orange species since high school (I can't recall if tanning beds were a "thing" at Renbrook - I highly doubt it) and either they are illiterate and can't read the multitude of warnings against tanning beds, or they just don't care. Why worry about a future death of skin cancer when you can be tan and attractive in the present? High school and college students are often in a trance that they are immortal; they have other things to worry about like making honors again or why Johnny didn't text me after last night. Who has time to worry about skin cancer? That's like - pfttt - a bazillion years from now.

A justification I hear for frequent tanning bed visits is that they won't die of skin cancer "before something else gets me". Seriously? Most of the girls who are addicted to tanning beds - the ones I know anyway - do not give off "daredevil" vibes. "Before something else gets me"? Like what? Do you go motorcycling over shark-infested tanks at 500 ft in the air inbetween exams? Do you tame lions in the student lounge? Are you hoping for some kind of glamourous end besides an embarrassing death from skin cancer that could have been easily prevented? What are you thinking?

Here's my guess: my generation is horrifically vain. If you don't believe me, go on Facebook or Myspace and count all of those pictures of being taken by one person of just him/her from thirty different angles. And guess what? None of those are a profile picture. That's just one example. Use your imagination to think of how else people are vain. (Their blogs...?)

People are vain in their own way. Some people need to be tan, some people need to have plastic surgery, and some need to be wearing the right outfit (that's me).

Yet my form of vanity doesn't risk death. Just bankruptcy.

Even so, there is no right outfit for muggy days anyway because everything makes you sticky and uncomfortable. Just stay inside and read blogs that tell you have to live your life.

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